Keeping love alive during lockdown

Shilpa Roy

Spring is supposed to be romantic, isn’t it? Long candlelight dinners, holding hands on an evening stroll, listening to soft music together but this year spring has been totally opposite because of the coronavirus pandemic. Yet people are still seeking love and connection. But, finding love right now feels tough, how much can you get to know a person by chatting and video calls? And if you’re already in a relationship, how do you keep the spark alive from miles away? And if you are someone who is in a live-in relationship or married, how do you not get annoyed with each other by staying together 24x7? Modern relationships are a tricky affair. As beautiful and fun it may seem in the beginning, the excitement dies down the lane. The pandemic has unveiled a Pandora box of change and some have adapted well to these, while others are still stumbling.

For those who are single and desperate to find love in this self-isolation or quarantine period, just hold on. Dating and falling in love thereby isn’t some sort of assignment you need to complete within a deadline. And the bitter truth you can’t deny that online dating apps are mainly based on image. Salons are closed and you can’t really get a makeover done to put up your best picture and get matches. So maybe this is the time you can embrace your authentic self, so that the other person falls for your real self and not only for your picture.

If you are already in a live in relationship or married during the pandemic, isolation doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can plan surprise for your partner and express your love the old school way by writing letters, cute notes, by dedicating songs no matter how bad you sing. With time, you and your relationship gets so entangled in the hectic schedule of life that you almost forget the feeling of being in love. The digital age has plenty of distractions, so keep everything aside when you are together, no phone calls, no text messages. You often question our relationship when it gets boring, when you no longer feel compatible with each other, you often tend to question why did you choose them in the first place but never try to sort it out. So if you are really head over heels in love with someone and if you really want to make the relationship exciting, you should focus on each other. There’s no use of digging into other people’s social media profiles and complaining about how your love life is draining you. Each love story is different; each couple is different. The other day my friend was complaining how her relationship with her partner lost the spark after two years of being together. How they despite staying in the same house they stay glued to their smart phones rather than talking to each other. This is what happens when relationship gets old. So to keep both the love and spark alive, effort from both sides is very much required. The greatest friction during lockdown is when one of the either partners is feeling anxious. To keep things smooth, give each other the space. Try creating a work schedule and set your priorities straight. The signs of a successful relationship are how couples do not let their professional life interfere with personal life. You can also lend a helping hand to daily chores around the house. You can try coking different cuisines together. If you are going through some strains in your relationship, this lockdown is a great time to talk things out and sort the issues. Social distancing will take you against the virus, and stay at home will mend your relationship.

If you are someone who is in a long-distance relationship, things may be hard for you. Still there is always a way out. Schedule video calls for each other and talks about your day. Flirting is always healthy for relationships no matter how many years you have been dating. Tease each other; make each other laugh with silly jokes. Distance always gives us a newer perspective to explore intimacy and realize how much the other person means to you. Distance makes the heart go fonder. A positive sign about the couples in distance relationships is that there is always a longing to see each other, the flame of love burns slowly but it never dies out.

When the entire world was going into an extended period of lockdown, the question that revolved was how we can maintain relationships. Restaurants, bars, pubs, movie theatres, tourist spots were all closed. People only focused on the practicalities of going in dates rather than peeping into their heart. I know it may sound cheesy but love is beyond all human calculations. Undoubtedly being able to talk to someone or seeing them physically is a different kind of feeling and video calls are not that fulfilling. But just because it is a turbulent moment it does not mean that it will not pass. Times like this always tests how much storms a relationship can hold and that togetherness is not always good and being separated is not always bad. As of my relationship, I make the trending Dalgona Coffee and send him pictures, he says it looks yummy but definitely tastes bitter. We laugh like kids and stare into each other eyes miles away on the screen. And coming to spending our time in this lockdown, he is a nocturnal and I am a diurnal. But our evenings are no less than a beautiful spring. So let love withstand the test of this pandemic. Let this pandemic make you weave a love story which will be read by your grandchildren with twinkle in their eyes. Till then you can hum your favorite love ballad and pray for your precious one to be safe.

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