“I’m funny, right? What do you know? You’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes.”
“Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”
“I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last twelve hundred times.”
“I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
“If I were a guy and…did I just say ‘if I were a guy?’”
“What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?”
“I can handle this. “Handle” is my middle name. Actually, “handle” is the middle of my first name.”
“When I was younger, I started using humor as a defense mechanism.”
“So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay.”
“I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!”